Hannah’s Story, Chapter One, Part Four- The Red Headed Hostess

We saw each other the next day, and the next, and the next.  Deep down I knew I was going to marry this guy, but it is much easier to look back and realize that more than it is to see it looking forward.  When we went on our first date I had no idea that it was also my last first date ever, and that I would never go on another date with someone else again.

Our first date was in September and he first told me that he loved me the day after Christmas.  Once that milestone hit, we started talking about getting married.  Hannah, there is something I really want to you to understand before you choose a husband someday.  I started dating your father because of the man he was, and then I fell in love with him.  I hope you are wiser than many of the messages out there that say something like “all you need is love”.  That isn’t true, at least not in the romantic “love” sense.  You need much more than feelings to have a happy life together.  I am certain there will be a line of boys in your youth that you will think you are “in love” with, and then after each one your feelings will change.   But the boy is the same boy, it is just that your feelings change, you just don’t love them anymore.  Remember that.  If feelings change, and you choose a spouse just because you love them, what may happen?   You definitely want to be in love, but you will find the most security in your marriage and future if you are married to a man who is good and will treat you well and work hard for you and your family. You want to make sure that you are making a wise choice in your husband and you love him.  It takes a very mature girl to be able to do both.

Another lie that is out there is that “opposites attract”.  If there is any truth in that statement, it is only in preferences and not principles.  Like you may prefer to sing and he may not, or he may like loud cars and you may not care about that.  Those are preferences that can make life more interesting and you can appreciate those differences in each other.  But if the differences are in values and principles that you live by or deep beliefs that effect your actions, that will likely cause grief in your life and confusion in your children’s.

The last piece of advice I would like to give you here is to be the kind of person that you want to marry.  One of the best things I was told in my youth was this:  “if you want to marry a 10, then you need to be a 10”.  That gave me a lot of confidence as a young girl because I knew I couldn’t make my husband choose good things  (I didn’t even know who he was!), but I could choose good things myself and thereby qualify for the kind of guy I wanted.  When your father and I finally decided to marry it was one of the easiest choices I have ever made, but that is only because we had spent a lifetime preparing for each other. You are living your love story all along because you are becoming the girl the guy of your dreams is looking for.  I promise to help you become that girl.  This will be such a fun journey.